Yesterday was a difficult day for me. Most of what Dad says now is a figment of his imagination. He is, to a great extent, in his own world, and doesn't realize the magnitude of his illness. I am thankful for this blessing and shield that God has placed over my dad, but it forces home the harsh reality of his illness to the rest of us who love him. My dad, if he was cognizant right now, would be very anxious and scared. He is a man of great faith, but I think everyone has a fear of the unknown when cancer is involved. God has spared my dad in that respect, and for that I give thanks and glory to Him.

He did not eat supper last night because, as he told Mom, he had already had supper. As we all know, up to this point, Dad never missed a meal or even the opportunity for a snack. Late last night, Mom called Gregory because Dad has gone through such a dramatic change in the past two days regarding his mental state. Gregory said that unless he shows signs of anything else changing: such as being difficult to wake up, nausea or vomiting, severe headaches or vision changes, then there is nothing anyone can do. He is going to call the neurosurgeon who read his MRI on Wednesday to make sure that the tumor hadn't grown. His report Wednesday night said that it hadn't changed at all, but SOMETHING is different.

Kevin spent the night there last night, and Kristie is going over this morning while Mom runs some errands. Gregory is calling Dad's local doctor, Dr. Medley, to get Dad in today. He feels Dad needs to be seen in his current state, because he will need to be monitored here after the neurosurgeons have done their job.

Last night I prayed that the Lord would give me some peace in this situation (six hours of crying in one afternoon is not good for the mind or the body), and all night long, one verse kept coming into my head. Psalms 46:10 says, BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD. God is in control, right now, next week and in every waking second of our day. Whatever the outcome, God will be glorified and Dad's needs will be met in abundance. We serve a merciful God, and His grace is sufficient for all our needs. I think I need some extra grace today, so I have already put in that prayer request. God will provide.

Love,

Renee