I guess two good nights in a row are just not an option right now.  Dad pulled the needle out of his port later in the evening, and the radiology team had to come back up to the room.  The needle was reinserted, and around 2:30 in the morning, he did it again.  They were supposed to start a new IV at 3AM, so everyone had to hurry back up to the room and make sure he had not damaged something in the port.  He also began having a stabbing pain in his shoulder, which continued on into the day.  They had to give him Oxycodone for that.  There were many incidents throughout the night, and they got almost no sleep.

Today has been one of Dad's worst days.  Mom says that his confusion level is the worst that she has ever seen it.  He asked if his mother was sitting out on the front porch in the swing (his mom has been gone for 24 years).  He asked if there was a child in the car wreck.  The preacher from Bethel came to visit, and Dad called him "Bud" (not his name).  He also got confused about what the preacher did for a living.  For the first time today, though, he got ugly with Mom.  Throughout this whole illness, he got irritated sometimes, but never ugly.  He told Mom that she was driving him crazy.  She began to cry, and he told her that she was just on him about everything.  I know he's frustrated because Mom does tell him what he needs to do, but there is no way around it.  Dad is like a five year old.

He tried for a third time to pull the tube out of his port this afternoon; he was in the bathroom, and Mom was trying to stop him, but she couldn't control him.  She had to pull the "Do not pull unless it's an emergency" cord, and they all came running to help.  They got him back to bed and gave him a Zyprexa.  This is an antipsychotic drug.  She said he has slept a lot since they gave it to him.  She also said that Dad was very difficult to understand today.  She said that you couldn't understand most of his sentences.  They are waiting for the doctor on call to come into their room, so she can talk about what's gone on today.  We don't know if this is what we're supposed to expect, or if something has gone terribly awry.  I called Mom on my way home from work, and she cried for most of the drive.  Mom has been a rock through it all, so I KNOW how scared she is tonight.  I know how scared I am tonight.

I am asking you tonight to pray specifically for the healing of Dad's mind.  He so desperately needs peace right now.  I can't begin to imagine what is actually going in his mind.  He is so frustrated and lost right now.  It is so very hard to watch this illness progress.  I thought that the shrinking of the tumor would surely bring some improvement to Dad, but so far that has not been the case.  Dad thinks that his memory has greatly improved, but in reality, we know that there has been little change.  We are never going to give up hope.  Even though right now our seas are stormy, God is still the Captain of our ship.  I may not see the improvement in Dad that I desperately am longing to see, but God is not finished yet.  2 Corinthians 5:7 says WE LIVE BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT.

Thank you for all your continued prayers.  We need them so very much.
Love,
Renee