I am sending this blog post on my iphone; we've been sitting in the ER
at Vanderbilt for 5 hours, and I'm not sure when we will be leaving.
The ER has been on a lockdown and police are everywhere. Someone was
shot, and the concern is that the shooter will come back and finish
the job. My loving husband gave me some caring advice: "Move away
from the door!".

Dad had some trouble during the night. One side of his stomach began
to hurt a lot. He doesn't complain about pain much, so I know it must
have been bad. They were home alone, it was 3AM and Mom didn't want
to call me at that time of the morning. She wasn't sure if she should
call an ambulance, so she sat and prayed. She knows NOW that she
should have called someone. Anyway, we called the doctor this
morning, because it is possible that the aneurism is causing his
pain. If it bursts, it would be almost impossible to save him. The
doctor said he needed to be seen at the ER, so we decided we would
bring him back to Vanderbilt. The doctor felt like it would be okay
for him to make the trip.

He has had another CAT scan, blood tests and urine tests run. They
said it is possible that he has a urinary tract infection. We haven't
heard the results of the scan yet. Kristie just came out here and
said that he is grimacing from the pain right now. Mom says that
through this whole ordeal, Dad has never winced from pain. I don't
know what's wrong with Dad, but I'm glad we're here. Please pray for
Dad tonight.

Love
Renee

WE HAVE HAD A MIRACULOUS DAY!  The results of the MRI and CAT scan are in, and Dad's tumor has shrunk from 41 millimeters to 8 millimeters.  That is an 80% decrease in width in two treatments.  His doctor was thrilled with the results, and we are going to finish the next three treatments as planned - there won't be any alterations of the chemo regimen and NO radiation.  Can I have a hardy AMEN?!!!!!!!  Kay asked Dr. Reddy if it would be okay if they came home for a few days, and she said she saw no reason why they couldn't, so........we packed up a few things, and Caitlin, Erin and I brought them home until Sunday.  Dad had no problems in the car.  We stopped once at the Tennessee border Welcome Center, and then he decided he was hungry.  We stopped in Franklin (Kentucky) at the Zaxby's (we went through the drive-through to save time!) and we got them home around 7:30 tonight.  They were so unbelievably happy to be home.  Mama says that we just can't understand how hard it has been for them to be away from home for so long.  She said it even SMELLS wonderful in their house!  I went back and checked my blog, and they have been away from home since September 26th.  Dad was sure that they had only been away from home since Monday.

The bad news (why does there always have to be bad news?) is that his aneurism has grown.  It was 7.8 centimeters wide and now it is 8.1 centimeters wide.  That is almost a 5% increase in size.  Right now, we are dealing only with the cancer; we just have to trust that the Lord knows what He is doing.  Dad said tonight that "By His stripes we are healed", and "We have to believe that God will do what He says He will do." Dad was so upset last night; he wanted to be anointed by several preachers that he knows in Rockport.  Kay did the next best thing:  she called her friend Anthony, a very kind preacher who lives down the street from her.  He and his wife came to their house at 8:30, prayed and anointed Dad.  You DO have to believe that God is faithful to His Word, and we have asked for healing.  My Dad has claimed God's promise, and now he is just waiting for God to follow through.  One thing I have learned during my 48 years of being a preacher's kid:  God ALWAYS follows through.

In my parent's house, the family room is right off the kitchen, but you must take two steps down to get to the family room.  Dad's "throne" (his giant recliner) is right below those two steps, and those two small steps are Dad's biggest threat.  There is no hand rail to hold onto when you step down.  He goes up and down those steps during the night.  He goes to sleep in his bed, but gets up after a few hours and finishes the night in his chair.  Those two steps down that he takes to get to his chair are the reason why it is necessary for someone to stay with them.  Tonight I held tight to his arm as we walked into the house, and when we got to the kitchen, I said, "Dad, you must not, under any circumstances, try to walk down those steps by yourself."  He said, "I have no intention of going down those steps at all."  He took two steps, reached out to grab the trim lining the door to the family room, went down the first step and tripped.  I had not let go of his arm yet, so I caught him.  I asked him about his previous statement of not going down those steps, and he reminded me that he HAD grabbed the door trim before he stepped down.  There will be a hand rail put up tomorrow, but in the meantime, the dining room table will be moved to block the door.  Mom really wants to stay there tonight without assistance.  Kay and I discussed the options, and we think that as long as the stairs are not an issue, they will be able to manage a night alone.

We are praising the Lord tonight - not that we ever STOPPED praising the Lord - but tonight the praises are said with smiles on our faces and gratefulness in our hearts.  Last night I asked for hope, and today, God followed through, just like He promised.   Mom and Dad are home and good news is abundant in the Powell household tonight!  None of this would have happened without prayer - our family's AND yours.  Thank you so much for your prayers.  I know that each of you are rejoicing with us right now.  Finally............I get to share some REALLY good news!

Love,
Renee

Dad has not had a great day.  He has slept through most of it.  He went to bed right after breakfast, and actually slept for two hours without getting up - no bathroom breaks.  He got back up and said he'd like sausage, biscuits and gravy for breakfast.  Mom knew it was lunchtime, but she played along anyway.  After lunch, she told him they had to get some exercise, meaning take a walk down Kay's street using his walker.  He told her that he was just too tired, but she told him that he had to walk.  They didn't go very far, but he didn't think he could make it back home.  When they got back to Kay's garage, he couldn't make it into the house; he had to rest in the garage.  He went to sleep in the afternoon, got up and ate his supper, and then went back to sleep - which is where he is right now at 8:00.  Kay said that his eyes had that glazed look today; I noticed that he had the same look on Sunday.  It's almost as if his body is there but he isn't hearing or comprehending anything going on around him; he's somewhere else. I was talking about this with Kristie, and she reminded me that at least he wasn't in any pain.  That is a wonderful blessing, but it's still hard to know your dad is "there", and yet "not there".   This is the end of the second cycle, and if this regimen is going to help Dad, some changes should be starting to show by now.  I keep praying for the day when Mom says, "You won't believe what your father remembered today" or "I saw such an improvement in Dad."  I HAVE to believe that this day WILL come; it is just too painful to let any other possibilities creep into my thoughts.  God WILL take care of my Dad.  I guess today is just one of Dad's "bad" days.

Mom just called.  It's now 8:40PM and Dad just got up.  He wants to call two of his friends and have them pray over him and anoint him.  He got on the phone and told me of his plan. He said that he just had his breakfast and he wants to contact them.  Even if the men could only meet in their kitchen without Dad being present, they could still pray and anoint Dad.  Where two or more are gathered in His name, there I am also.................Thank you Lord for hope.

Renee

My dad had a wonderful day.  He has known that some people from our church were going to visit him since Sunday, and every day he would say, "Are they coming tomorrow?"  Well, today was the day, and twenty people ended up in the "Freeman Caravan", Nashville bound.  Mom said that Dad was just overwhelmed.  When everyone left, he told her, "I think they were glad to see me."  I KNOW he was glad to see them.  This illness is hard enough if you have lots of visitors and friends to come and give you support.  They have not been able to have many visitors because it is such a long drive, so this was a special treat.  I know that many of them are reading the blog, because he got 2 jars of sugar-free apple butter, barbecue and sugar free candy and Oreos!!!!!!  Thank you for keeping him from eating "scraps"!!!!!  I think we all enjoy spoiling Dad just a little :-) !!!!!!


He was already in bed tonight at 8:00.  Mom said that he was exhausted.  He doesn't realize how little sleep he is getting.  His main doctor said that he needs to see a urologist for all these nightly trips to the bathroom.  I hope that she can refer him to one soon, for everyone's sake.


I don't have too much to tell you; Mom was worn out too, and she didn't give me a lot of information tonight.  Hopefully they will be able to get some sleep.


Have a wonderful day tomorrow.  Erin and I will be on another college visit Thursday, and then I am going to Nashville on Friday and Saturday.


Love,
Renee

I did not get to spend Tuesday with Dad like I usually do.  We had a college visit lined up for Erin at UK, and we didn't get home until after 9PM tonight.  I didn't get any information about Dad until after 8:30PM, because they didn't get home from all their tests until then.  Kay's friend Kelly drove them to Vanderbilt and helped Mom get Dad where he needed to go.  They didn't even get to eat supper until around 8PM tonight.  It was an extremely long day, and I imagine they are both in bed by now.

The "sitter service" came today to talk to Mom, and Dad got extremely upset.  He told Mom that he didn't need a sitter, he wasn't going to have a sitter, and if they got him a sitter he would leave that house.  He went back to his bed and laid down, and Mom went in to check on him.  She said he was so angry.  He told her that his friend David Fisher would drive down to Nashville today, pick him up and take him home.  Mom was crying because she just didn't know what to do or say.  Dad went to sleep, and when he got up from his nap, he acted like nothing had ever happened.  The lady from the sitter service was still there, and Dad sat and talked to her, but he had apparently forgotten why she was there.  The good news is, Kay's friend Kelly will now be sitting with Dad all night on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays (on the weeks that they are at Kay's house).  Dad has known Kelly for several years, so hopefully he won't give her any grief.  She is thrilled to have the job, and she starts TONIGHT!  I know that the Lord worked this out; Kelly needs the job and Mom definitely needs the help.  This is another BIG blessing from God, and I am praising the Lord for another answer to prayer.

Mom still doesn't know when we will get the results back from the MRI and CAT scan.  We will all be "sitting on pins and needles" until we find out.  Mom said that they won't see Dr. Reddy again until Monday (when it's time for him to be readmitted to the hospital), so we may be waiting several days.

I asked Mom tonight if there was anything she wanted me to say in the blog, and she said, "Please thank all the people for their prayers."  I told her that I've been doing that for a long time.  I believe that Dad is here today because of all the prayers that are sent up daily for him.  

It's been a very long day for me, and I am heading to bed myself.  Spending days looking at colleges is a vivid reminder that my last child will soon be gone, and that is another emotional issue that takes its toll on your psyche.  I saw a comment that applies all to well to me:  "You call it gray hairs...I call it stress highlights!".  If my future continues on this path much longer, I am going to have to change the date of my hair appointment to cover up all these "stress highlights"!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Renee

Dad was very tired again today; they were up every 15 to 30 minutes going to the bathroom again.  Mom woke up not feeling well, and I'm sure a large part of it is due to  her lack of sleep over the past month and a half.  Kay is staying with Dad tonight, and tomorrow they have an appointment with a "sitter service".  We all know Mom can't lose much more sleep, and our goal is to find a sitter that can stay there during the night.

Dad did not have to eat "scraps" tonight!  Kay's Sunday school class is bringing them dinner every other night for the next two weeks.  Kay has assured me that he has NEVER eaten scraps at her house!  I told him last night that he didn't need to be eating scraps, and he told me that there was more truth than fiction in that statement!

Mom is making him take short walks around the neighborhood (doctor's orders).  Apparently there is one air conditioner unit located down the street that has his name on it, because that is his resting spot.  Mom tries to hurry him up, and he'll tell her that he will get up in a minute.  He tried to cross the street and step up on the curb, but she wanted him to walk up a wheelchair ramp instead.  He informed Mom that she was very bossy!  I have a feeling that there are going to be quite a few more "bumps in the road" in their near future!

Dad didn't sleep as much today, so I am hoping that he sleeps more tonight.  Kay went to bed early to get a few hours sleep before her "shift" starts.  She is trying hard to make him comfortable, adjusting his pillows, etc.  He told her tonight that she is not necessarily always right when she thinks she knows what he needs!  He is definitely not mincing many words.

One of the men from our church, Don, volunteered to drive a van to Nashville, so some of the retired members could visit.  He asked how many wanted to go, expecting around 6 to 8 people, but I understand that now 23 people are coming to visit!  He has gone from driving one van to leading a caravan!  Dad is so excited; he keeps thinking that they are visiting tomorrow.  It will be a huge day for him, and I wish I could be there when all his friends walk in the door.

Tomorrow Dad is having his MRI and CAT scan done late in the afternoon.  I don't know when we will have the results back.  The MRI will tell us if the chemo is working, and the CAT scan will tell us if there have been any changes in the aneurism.  Yes, the aneurism is still lurking in the background, as ominous as ever.  I tend to forget that he has that aneurism - another serious health issue that must be dealt with sometime in the future.  As with the cancer, the aneurism will be taken care of in God's time.  God doesn't seem to be in a hurry right now.

Not much news to report; they're the same symptoms on a different day.  We'll likely have many days like that.

May God bless,
Renee

I got up this morning with every intention of going to church and performing my weekly job of being the church pianist.  As my early morning newspaper ritual started, possible alternatives started coming to mind.  I just couldn't come to grips with leaving Mom and Dad alone all day when Dad's nose had been bleeding the day before.  I woke up Caitlin and asked if she would mind being the church pianist this morning, and being the agreeable young lady she is, my day changed its course completely.  Since I haven't felt great for the past few days, I ran by the drugstore and bought some masks.  I drove out to Mom and Dad's house and picked up a few more winter clothes for them, grabbed a large coffee to go (a new bad habit since I've discovered coffee packs a much larger caffeine punch than tea), and then spent the afternoon in Nashville!  Kevin caught me on the way out the door and said, "If I ever get sick, I hope you take as good a care of me as you have of your dad."  Kristie's husband Rich and my husband Kevin have been so wonderful to step up and take care of responsibilities that Kristie and I have just had to abandon.  Kristie's mother-in-law, Betty, is just one step beneath sainthood!  She has been baby-sitting, cooking, doing laundry, grocery shopping.....you name it, she is doing it.  Clay's wife, Annie, has been taking care of a new baby and a 3 year old while Clay spends weekend nights with Dad.  Kay's husband, Gregory, has given up his bedroom and is so graciously sharing the rest of their home with our parents, while keeping watch over Dad and working many hours a week.  Cancer does not affect only the person who is sick.  It is an insidious disease that hits with all the forewarning of a tornado, and leaves an aftermath that changes many lives forever.  Not only has our immediate family had to pick up the pieces; our church family has, for now, lost its pastor of 39 years.  I can't begin to name all the people who have stepped in and helped us get a little control over an uncontrollable situation.  We thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

Dad really didn't need much watching today.  He slept most of the time I was there.  He would sit up for about 10 minutes, then go to bed for about 30 minutes.  He repeated that cycle all afternoon.  He told me that he hadn't slept since Monday, and he was just really tired.  He is also very cold.  He was dressed in flannel pants and a T shirt, a fleece jacket, and a sock hat; he was covered up with an afghan and another fleece blanket.  I guess we are going to have to get used to seeing him having bad days.  His body is filled with toxic liquids every other week, and they don't just target the cancer cells.  His voice is  high pitched and hollow again, but he doesn't say too much.  He says his throat is sore, and he thinks that is due to the chemo.

He called his brother Paul (the barbecue specialist) and did his best to convince him that he needed some food.  I listened to him tell Paul that he was not getting enough food to eat; he said that he was getting lots of scraps.  He said that he didn't know how he could get his strength up if he wasn't getting enough food.  Now I know that Mom and Kay are feeding him; he is just not used to having a diabetic menu, and he truly is hungry.  I listened to him talk, and when he hung up the phone, I told him to put his shoes on; I was taking him out to dinner, and he wasn't going to eat scraps for supper!  He decided he would like to eat at the Cracker Barrel, and off we went.  That was the first time he has eaten out at a restaurant for many weeks.  I told the restaurant "host" that we couldn't stay long because my dad was in the middle of chemo, and not feeling well.  They treated Dad like he was a king!  They took our order within two minutes, and they had out all our food in five minutes.  Dad ate like he had not seen any food for 2 days.  He didn't waste time talking; he kept a biscuit in one hand and a fork in the other, all the while trying to con Mom into letting him have some apple butter.  The hostess even went out into the restaurant store to see if she could find him sugar-free apple butter that he could use at the table, but they didn't have any.  It was just a joy to watch him eat.  He didn't change his facial expressions - there were no smiles to accompany his full belly - but I knew that just being in a restaurant, feeling like he was getting "real" food, made Dad feel better.

The next few months are going to bring a lot of changes in Dad, and it's going to be really hard to watch him physically weaken with time.  That will be the next step in this process of fighting the cancer.  I guess my thought processes went from chemo to tumor shrinking to feeling better.  I never factored in the cost of the chemo to Dad's physical body.  It is going to be a long road for Dad, and for all of us that love him.

With heartfelt thanks to everyone,
Renee

Dad got to leave the hospital this afternoon, and he is back at Kay's house.  Clay is spending the night with them, and he will take over "Freeman Central" so Mom can get some sleep.  Clay said that Dad's memory is better; he is still talking about the pizza that Kristie surprised him with yesterday!  Talking about yesterday's lunch doesn't mean much to most people, but to us it signifies hope.  Little things mean a lot right now.  Two weeks ago, he couldn't tell you what he had eaten 10 minutes earlier.  I'm not sure how God's plan is going to culminate, but I know He is taking care of even the smallest of details.  God is ALWAYS at work on the details.  Before Dad's illness, I didn't take the time to pay attention to the little things.  Life passes very quickly, and I think we take many aspects of it for granted.  We are NOT always going to have tomorrow with our families, NOTHING in life is guaranteed, and we may not get another chance to say "I love you" or "I'm sorry".  At Vanderbilt, you can't escape the fact that life is fragile - you have to handle it with prayer.  I look around at other families in the hospital, and I realize that we are truly blessed to have this time with our dad.  I am making the most of this time now, but I really wished that I had done that BEFORE he got sick.

Dad had a strong voice during the day, but tonight he sounds "hollow" again.  I'm sure it is because he is tired.  He says that one reason he is tired is due to the fact that "Mom talks to people all night long - literally ALL NIGHT."  He naps during the day, and when he wakes up, he thinks it is the middle of the night instead of the middle of the afternoon.  He told me that she seems to talk to EVERYONE, regardless of what time it is!  This is really frustrating Dad.  I don't have an answer to that dilemma.

Tonight, Dad's nose has been bleeding just a little.  Mom noticed a little blood outside his nose this morning, and she thinks she might have mentioned it to a nurse, but she isn't sure.  Tonight, she noticed a little blood on the outside of his nose, and when he blew his nose, there was more blood.  She called the nurses's station at the hospital, and they told her to try some Afrin decongestant spray to try and shrink the blood vessels in his nose.  They think it might be due to a dry nose, but said if it gets worse, they are going to have to go to the emergency room.  I don't think it's a dry nose; he sleeps with a CPAP machine, and it runs humidified air through his nose all night.

Clay is heading back home in the morning, and Mom and Dad will be by themselves until 6PM.  I guess that will be the first time they've been "alone" since Dad started chemo.  Mom says not to worry about them; they'll be fine.  I know that she will have her hands full.  You can't take your eyes off of him.  He jumps out of his seat and is off in the wrong direction in a flash.  He still doesn't realize that he is very unsteady and has to be careful.  They will have a long afternoon tomorrow.  Sundays are especially long for them anyway, because they aren't able to go to church.  Mom really struggles with the lack of organized worship and fellowship with other people.  She has ALWAYS said that if they missed church, the week to follow seemed very long.  They haven't been to church in 7 weeks now.

I hope you have a wonderful Sunday service at YOUR church!
Love,
Renee

Last night was another rough night, but TODAY was a GREAT day!   They are keeping an oxygen monitor on Dad while he sleeps, and all night long, his oxygen level kept dropping into the 50 percent range (it is supposed to be at 100%).  Mom said alarms went off all night long, and nurses kept coming in and telling Dad to breathe.  They aren't sure what is happening, but  are checking to see if it is because he is sleeping with his mouth open.  His CPAP machine is covering his nose, so they are adding a chin strap for tonight.  Maybe tonight will be the night they get some sleep.......

Kristie spent the day there, and she surprised Dad with a pizza (he did his best to get one yesterday but Mom the watchdog was there) and a cupcake from GiGi's Cupcakes.  Kristie and I have passed this little bakery many times, and we finally went in on Tuesday.  The cupcakes are absolutely beautiful.  The icing on top of each cupcake is almost three inches tall.  The flavors are really different - Red Velvet, Spumoni, Wedding Cake, Italian Cream Cake, you name it - they've got it - and all for only $3.00 per cupcake!  If you buy one dozen cupcakes, they knock the price down to $2.75 per cupcake - a bargain, for sure!  Anyway, Kristie and I walked out without buying any, but she went in today and bought three.  Dad was allowed one-fourth of a cupcake (Mom's allotment), and his blood sugar only went up to 117 (though it was 160 tonight).  Kristie said the smile on Dad's face was worth every cent!  She said he laughed again all day.  That's not to say that he didn't get confused and say some things that made no sense at all, but she said it was a great day!!!!  I don't know why hearing that Dad had another great day makes me cry, but they are tears of happiness.  We have waited so long to have some good days, and I am just overwhelmed with joy.  I give all the glory to God, and I can't wait to see what He has planned next.

Dad is having another MRI of his brain and a CAT scan of his abdomen on Tuesday.  Mom is not sure why they are checking out his abdomen, and I wasn't there, so I don't know either. We will find out then if the tumor has been shrinking.  Mom thinks that she will be able to drive herself and Dad to Vandy that day- she says that she has to learn how to drive there sometime.

They were both ready for bed early tonight.  She was giving me an update, and Dad asked her if she could POSSIBLY think of anything else to talk about!  He was grumpy and ready for bed.  Mom is hoping that tonight there will be no alarms.  They are taking out the catheter before he goes home, so she knows she will not be getting any sleep after he leaves the hospital.  She was hoping he could go home with some type of catheter, but the doctor says that it would be too easy for Dad to pick up an infection that way.  They are hoping they might get to go home tomorrow, so I am praying for a smooth, quiet night.

Two happy days in a row are SUCH A BLESSING.  I wish I could go back to Nashville tomorrow, but I have to work in the morning.  I am so very thankful tonight for progress.  That is truly an answer to prayer.

Have a wonderful weekend!
Love,
Renee

I had a wonderful day with my parents.  Dad laughed the whole time I was there, his voice was strong, and he felt really good until right before I got ready to leave.  He was teasing Mom a lot.  He was hungry all day.  He started out the day really confused, but he did remember several things that would be considered short term memories.  The nurse came in to weigh him, and he told her that she had already weighed him.  She said that she hadn't weighed him today, and he said again that she had.  She looked at him and said, "You're right - I weighed you out in the hall."  Do you remember how much you weighed?"  He said 253, and I thought he must be wrong, because Tuesday he weighed 245.9 pounds (which equaled a 30 pound weight loss for him).  He got on the scales, and it was 253.9 pounds.  That was probably the first thing he has remembered in weeks.  YAHOO!!!!!!!!!!  He still thinks he has seven bathrooms in his room, he asked Mom today if they were in a nursing home, and when he got tired tonight, he told her that he was going to their bedroom now.  She had to tell him they were spending the night in THIS room.  Even though we have a long way to go, a journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.  The journey has officially begun.  PRAISE THE LORD FOR THE SMALL STEPS.

He has had a few problems today.  Mom said that an area right underneath his port was bleeding this morning when he got out of the shower.  She didn't say anything to the nurse about it this morning, and tonight she noticed that it was bleeding again.  She asked the night nurse, who apparently is not familiar with this type problem, so they are waiting for someone to tell them what needs to be done.  He also developed a headache right before I left, and then the area around his catheter started to give him a lot of pain.  Mom said that he hasn't had a good evening.  Hopefully he will get some relief from his pain, and then get some sleep tonight.  They only had to get up a few times last night.  Dad woke her up in the middle of the night and said that he had to go to the bathroom.  She guided him through all the IV tubes, they made their way into the bathroom, and then Dad looked at her and said, "OK, you sit down and go!"  She just looked at him and said, "YOU were the one who had to go to the bathroom, not me!"  She has managed to keep her sense of humor throughout this illness, and that is quite an accomplishment!

He has been changing out his hats - he is quite the "fashionista" now!  He has five hats that I have made him, and one hat that a sweet lady from church gave him.  She was worried about his cold head too.  I will post some pictures of him (by request!) soon.  Actually, I don't know how to - I have to let my computer savvy husband take care of that!
Two nights in a row of good news.........God is being very gracious, and I am SO VERY THANKFUL.

Love,
Renee

Last night was apparently a very difficult night for both Mom and Dad.  Dad had lots of trouble with the "'Texas Catheter", and both of them were up almost all night.  However, if you got Dad's version of the night, he had a pretty good night's rest.  Mom said at 5:30 AM, the head nurse came in and they discussed a different catheter - not the usual time to discuss these sorts of things, but apparently it was a long night for her too.  They came in, tried another catheter, and today has been a MUCH better day.  They were both ready for bed at 8:30 tonight.  Mom said she was so tired today that she could do absolutely nothing.  For Mom to do absolutely nothing usually means she is sick - so I know she HAS to get some rest.  Tonight they are both looking forward to uninterrupted sleep - at least as much uninterrupted sleep as a hospital can provide when they are administering chemotherapy at all hours of the day and night!

Dad was sick to his stomach this afternoon, but they gave him some medicine, and he felt much better.  His voice sounded fantastic this afternoon.  It's the strongest I've heard it in at least a month.  He also TOOK NO PAIN MEDICINE TODAY!!!!!!!!!  You have no idea how WONDERFUL it is to FINALLY write GOOD news in this blog!  It has been so difficult to open up my computer every single day and have nothing good to say.  I have been praying for something, anything, that would be a step in the right direction, and today, the Lord answered my prayer.  I hope this is the first of many days that I have good news to report.

Their room is very small - maybe 100 square feet, including the bathroom - but Dad has pointed out to Mom that there are SEVEN bathrooms in their room!  He is very insistent that he is right, and he makes Mom watch as he points out each door!  He also said there are four more bathrooms right outside their door, so they have access to twelve bathrooms.
Even when Dad comes up with wild stories, he sounds so convincing!

I am praying for rest for my parents tonight.  They are in such dire need of sleep.  Dad doesn't realize he's not resting, but Mom does.  When he did sleep today, his oxygen level would drop,  so they put him on oxygen every time he napped.  Mom said she would wake him up and remind him to breathe.  Tonight is going to be a better night.

I am heading to Vanderbilt in the morning to see my family.   I hope that you each have a very blessed day tomorrow.

Love,
Renee

Kristie and I got home at 8:30 tonight, and they still had not started Dad's Methotrexate.  His urine was not alkaline enough, so they have been giving him sodium bicarbonate both in tablet form and in an IV.  They did start his Rituxan this afternoon about 3:00 (the monoclonal antibody).  Mom just called and said they were going to start his chemo drugs now:  first Vincristine and then Methotrexate.  His stomach seems swollen, and the nurse thinks he is retaining a lot of fluid, so they are also considering giving him a fluid pill.  He has been going to the bathroom every 15-20 minutes already, so I can't imagine what will happen when he's not holding in extra fluid.

He slept most of the day - in his new red hat(hat #2)!  Tomorrow, he can wear his new fall multi-colored hat (hat#3) -  he seems to stay very cold.  He told me that if he slept all day, it was because he needed the sleep.  He said he hasn't slept well in the past 3 days.  I didn't have the heart to tell him that he hasn't slept well for the past 3 weeks - and neither has Mom.

Since chemo didn't start until tonight, I don't think they will leave the hospital before Saturday or Sunday.  Dr. Stein told them today that Dad's urine really wasn't where it should have been when they left 1 1/2 weeks ago.  I think they will be lucky if they leave by Saturday night.  I am very thankful that they are watching Dad carefully.

I have moved Kay's address to the upper left hand corner of the blog site in case any of you would like to send them a card or a letter.  The words of encouragement mean so very much.  They are away from home, but there is no doubt of how much they are missed and loved.  We appreciate so much all the kind words they have received.  In this bleak time, hearing from friends brings them a much needed ray of sunshine.

Hopefully within a few days, I will be able to tell you that we see an improvement in Dad.  The MRI that will detect any changes in the tumor will be done next week.  To all Dad's faithful prayer warriors, MAY GOD BLESS YOU.  Please keep him on your prayer list.  We are waiting on a miracle.

Love,
Renee

After a VERY long day, Dad finally got admitted to the hospital around 6:15 tonight.  They arrived at the hospital this morning at 9AM, so they are both very tired tonight.  Dad had his port put in this morning, but they were not able to put the catheter in at the same time.  As of 8:30 tonight, they had not given Dad his hospital gown, put in his catheter or said a word about what time the chemo would start.  I have a feeling they are in for another long night.

When I talked to Dad last night and this morning, I noticed that I had to repeat everything I said.  I chalked it up to possibly a bad cell phone connection.  After I hung up with Dad this morning, I talked to Kay. I commented on how much worse his voice sounded this morning, and she told me that she couldn't believe how drastically his hearing had declined in just the past two days.  It had never occurred to me that he could be losing his hearing.  It was all I could do not to pull out of Nation's Medicines parking lot and drive straight to Nashville.  I have been worried all day long.   After Dad woke up from surgery (having the port put it), Mom said that his hearing seemed to be better.  Dad then said that it sounded like the wind or an ocean was rushing through his ears.  Later tonight, he said the roaring noise was gone.

He has gone through a lot of changes in just a short time.  His voice is really weak, his hearing has declined, his headaches are much worse and he sleeps through much of the day.  I know that all these have to be signs of his tumor changing.  Then again, tonight, his voice is a little stronger and his hearing is improved.  I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride that just won't end.  I would give anything to be able to coast for just a few days, with no drastic changes in Dad's condition.  I know God is going to heal Dad, but when things change so rapidly, it scares me to death.  God has His own ideas about how He will heal Dad, and I'm so afraid that God and I won't agree.  There is healing on earth and there is perfect healing in heaven.  God knows best, and He will take care of my Dad in His own time.  MY concept of time shows the clock is ticking rapidly.  God's clock ticks very slowly.  Regardless of the time passing,  I know that God is still in control.

MY SOUL IS WEARY WITH SORROW; STRENGTHEN ME ACCORDING TO YOUR WORD.  Psalm 119:28

Kristie and I are leaving early in the morning to spend the day with them.  I am praying for a better day tomorrow.

Love,
Renee

I just talked to Mom, and she is trying to pack for her stay at the hospital.  She is absolutely worn out; even SHE quit counting how many times Dad got up last night.  Dad said that he was really tired tonight too.  Apparently he must have managed to top his high score for number of times to get up in one night.  I don't know how he could top fifteen, but it must have been a very long night.  He will  be getting another catheter put in while he is in the hospital, which means that, for a few nights anyway, they both can get a little sleep.  They are also putting in his "port" in the morning.  Since Dad's veins are so small, they have decided they aren't going to use a "pic" line anymore.  He will be put to sleep in the morning, have the port put in, and Mom is hoping she can have them put in the catheter while he is asleep.  That was another very painful procedure for him during his last visit, so hopefully both procedures can be done at once.

Kevin is on his way to Nashville tonight.  He will spend the night at the "Barnes Hilton" and he will be their navigator/wheel chair driver/hospital guide for the day.  I am really glad he could take off work tomorrow; Mom has no sense of direction, and it really puts a lot of stress on her if she thinks she has to navigate rush hour traffic, and then get into Vandy construction to park, find a wheel chair for Dad and navigate all the different buildings with their VERY long corridors.  Thankfully, she hasn't had to do this by herself yet.  One of us has always been able to go along with them.  That is just one more example of how God has been so good to us through this time.

Dad has been very emotional lately.  He likes to talk to his friends and family, but more often than not, he starts to cry before the conversation is finished.  Tonight was no exception.  I told him that everyone at church missed him and loved him, and he got upset.  Our church has been Dad's life for 39 years, and, for now, it's gone.  That has probably been the hardest adjustment Dad has had to make.  How do you just stop doing what you've done for 39 years?  How do you adjust to not seeing your church family that you've seen several times a week for the past 39 years?  How do you come to terms with the possibility that you might never get to preach again at your church of 39 years?  It upsets me to think about it, so I can only imagine what is going through Dad's head.  He knows where he's supposed to be.

Dad's second round of chemo starts tomorrow, and with it comes new hope.  I have been clinging to Dr. Reddy's word that two rounds may start to bring our dad's memory back.  We were hoping it would happen sooner, but that apparently was not meant to be.  I AM NOT GIVING UP HOPE.  The Bible is full of stories of people who believed, and they were healed.

WHEN HE HAD GONE INDOORS, THE BLIND MEN CAME TO HIM, AND HE ASKED THEM, "DO YOU BELIEVE THAT I AM ABLE TO DO THIS?"  "YES, LORD," THEY REPLIED.  THEN HE TOUCHED THEIR EYES AND SAID, "ACCORDING TO YOUR FAITH WILL IT BE DONE TO YOU"' AND THEIR SIGHT WAS RESTORED.   Matthew 9:28-29

JUST THEN A WOMAN WHO HAD BEEN SUBJECT TO BLEEDING FOR TWELVE YEARS CAME UP BEHIND HIM AND TOUCHED THE EDGE OF HIS CLOAK.  SHE SAID TO HERSELF, "IF I ONLY TOUCH HIS CLOAK, I WILL BE HEALED.  JESUS TURNED AND SAW HER.  "TAKE HEART, DAUGHTER," HE SAID, YOUR FAITH HAS HEALED YOU."  AND THE WOMAN WAS HEALED FROM THAT MOMENT.  Matthew 9:20-22

IS ANY ONE OF YOU SICK?  HE SHOULD CALL THE ELDERS OF THE CHURCH TO PRAY OVER HIM AND ANOINT HIM WITH OIL IN THE NAME OF THE LORD.  AND THE PRAYER OFFERED IN FAITH WILL MAKE THE SICK PERSON WELL; THE LORD WILL RAISE HIM UP.  IF HE HAS SINNED, HE WILL BE FORGIVEN.  James 5:14-15

It doesn't matter what problem we're facing; the Bible always gives us encouragement, comfort and strength.  How much easier our life would be if we put EVERY problem we face in God's very capable hands.  He has an answer for all of them; He's just waiting for us to ask.

Love,
Renee

Caitlin, Erin and I arrived at Kay's house, and Dad had lots of company.  Two of my cousins, Gail and Lisa, along with their husbands, Terry and Jeff, had come to visit!  They thought Dad was doing pretty good.  He remembered their jobs, and laughed at some stories Lisa had to tell about her dad, my Uncle Pete.  Lisa has always been a great story teller, and there is nothing my dad likes better than a good tale!  Mom tried to retell one story, and according to her, it had something to do with Uncle Pete loading his family up for a vacation on a cattle truck.  I think something got lost in the translation when Mom tried to retell the story, but she said that Dad just laughed and laughed!  Those moments of laughter seem to be coming farther apart, and I feel very lucky if  I am there to enjoy them.  Today, I missed them.

After they left, I presented Dad with his first new hat.  He was very proud of it, and wore it the rest of the afternoon.  He even took his naps in his new sock cap.  He told me that his head has been really cold lately, and that's why he liked it.  I told him it was a good thing, because I am making him nine more in various colors!  I have almost finished his red one.  I think Mom is afraid he will wear his cap in the hospital, but if it makes him feel better, I'll be happy to give him a full wardrobe of haute couture headwear!!!  Well, actually it will be ten colors of exactly the same plain sock hat, but HE doesn't care.  

At lunch time, he told me he had already eaten lunch, and wasn't hungry.  I reminded him that his company had just left, and he hadn't eaten, so we made our way into the kitchen where Kay had cooked some cashew chicken and rice just for him.  He ate every bit of it, and then had chocolate pudding and about 10 sugar free life savers.  He went back to his chair and slept for an hour, until I woke him up and convinced him to go lay down on his bed. He was very unsteady on his feet, and missed the turn to the bedroom.  He also missed the turn to the bathroom several times.  He just walks right past the door.  He sleeps a lot now, but I tell myself it is because he doesn't sleep at night.  He complained about his headache again, and told me that it hadn't gone away for days.  The oxycodone relieves some of his pain, but I know it's not a good sign that he needs the strong  pain medicine every day now.  

I didn't get to talk much to Dad because he slept most of the afternoon, either in his chair or in his bed.  He doesn't watch TV, he doesn't try to read the paper, he doesn't listen to his tapes; he just sits.  It's never long before he falls asleep, covered in warm blankets (and now, his hat of the day).  I am so ready for the next round of chemo to begin.  Dr. Reddy thinks we might see some improvement after the second round is over.  To our family, there could be no greater gift.  Right now, we are just biding our time, waiting............

 May God bless you and your family,

Love,

Renee

Caitlin and I went to see Dad today, and I think he was very glad we came.  I brought a pizza, and we all had lunch.  Then I read Dad some of the many cards he has been sent.  Kay said that Dad has received more cards in the past week than she has in 3 years!  I know Mom has read him each and every one, but he wanted to hear them again.  Caitlin told him a few jokes, and he got tickled over a few, mainly because they were so bad.  He was covered up from head to toe with blankets, and wanted a cap for his head.  He said his head gets cold.  I told him it was because all his hair was gone, and he informed me that he hadn't had a haircut yet!  He said that Mom was his barber and she had cut his hair too short!!!  At any rate, I went out and bought 10 skeins of yarn, and I intend to make him lots of sock hats.  I have lots of spare time when I'm sitting in the hospital room, and I know he will appreciate them.  He seems to stay very cold.

Kristie slept in his room last night.  I asked her how much sleep she got, and she said, "Well, how can I say this nicely.........?  Almost NONE."  He is up and down all night long.  Kristie looked a little tired this morning.  I don't know how Mom wakes up 12 to 15 times a night, every night, and still functions.  She must be like the energizer bunny, but I think her batteries are starting to fizzle!

He continues to have bad headaches, but I hope that after this second run of chemo, they will at least decrease in intensity.  I am counting the days until Monday.  They will run a second MRI on him after this next round, and I AM CONTINUING TO PRAY FOR A MIRACLE. I know that everyone reading this blog has Dad on their prayer list too, and together, we can make a difference.

AGAIN, I TELL YOU THAT IF TWO OF YOU ON EARTH AGREE ABOUT ANYTHING YOU ASK FOR, IT WILL BE DONE FOR YOU BY MY FATHER IN HEAVEN.  FOR WHERE TWO OR THREE COME TOGETHER IN MY NAME, THERE I AM WITH THEM.
Matthew 18:19-20

IF YOU REMAIN IN ME AND MY WORDS REMAIN IN YOU, ASK WHATEVER YOU WISH, AND IT WILL BE GIVEN YOU.
John 15:7

I am so very thankful for all of God's promises.  He keeps EVERY SINGLE ONE.  He hears EVERY SINGLE PRAYER.  I am waiting on the Lord, which is proving to be a very difficult task, but HE WILL KEEP HIS WORD.

Mom and Dad seem to be adjusting well to life at Kay and Gregory's house.  They have graciously given up their master bedroom downstairs, purchased a new bed and have taken over the much smaller guest room.  I know they have made many sacrifices to have Mom and Dad stay there, and I appreciate them both so much.  They are in very good hands.

Caitlin, Erin and I are heading back to Nashville in the morning.  The drive back and forth takes 2 1/2 hours each way, but I don't mind it one bit.  I just hope that it finally quits RAINING!!!!!!  There's also nothing more unnerving that driving 75 mph on I-65 and watching people swerve towards you because they are texting.  I am amazed at how many people try to drive and text.

Have a wonderful weekend.
Love,
Renee


  I

I'm not sure if waking up to a dreary day has been the cause of my melancholy mood, but the rain has persisted, and so has my sadness.  There is just a deep gloom that has pervaded my heart, and I hope that tomorrow will be a better day.  Kristie is spending the night with Dad, and I think she must be feeling a little of the same emotion.  She texted me and said, "I just realized......time goes by so quickly here because we know how short our time really is."  I have noticed that too.  We spend hours doing nothing, truly nothing, and yet when I spend the day with Dad, it's like time gets away from me.  I have barely arrived when it's time to say goodbye.  I have never been able to sit in a chair for hours - I'm a fidgeter, a doer, a person with lists that are a mile long - and yet I savor every minute I get to sit next to my dad.  Where did the month of September go?  How could October be one-third over?  I can't say where any of the time has gone, but suddenly time is very precious.  My perspective on a lot of issues have changed.

Dad had another day with terrible headaches.  He got good results on his labs, so chemo will resume Monday.  I would give anything if they could start the chemo sooner.  I can't help but feel like the sand is pouring through the hourglass and there will be no one to turn it over when the sand runs out.  The doctor did give him some Oxycodone for his headaches, and tonight he did not have one.  I am so thankful for that.  He has fallen several times now, and I am afraid that, even though he gets relief from the Oxycodone, it will decrease his balance and make his dizziness worse.  His blood sugar was very high tonight - 232.  Normal ranges for glucose are around 80 to 110.  He told me he had a good supper tonight, but he wished he could have had some lemon pie!!!!!  Dad's propensity for desserts is widely known, but he has not been able to enjoy anything like that lately.  He has lost 20 pounds now.  It is all I can do not to bake him a huge cake tonight and take it with me to Nashville tomorrow, hide it in his room and say, "This cake is ONLY for YOU, Dad."  He is even limited on how much fruit he can eat right now.  I am making up for his diet limitations - I am a stress eater, and the stress is beginning to show in more than the dark circles under my eyes.

Please keep your prayers going for my dad.  Again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your support.  We could not survive a day without it.

Love,
Renee

Mom says that Dad has been pretty agitated with her again today.  He is getting tired of her telling him what to do.  This is really a problem because, if Mom doesn't tell him exactly what to do, Dad doesn't do it (or he'll repeat something several times).  This includes eating the same meal several times, shaving several times in the morning, taking his medicine in double doses, you name it, he does it.  He doesn't understand why it's necessary for her to be so bossy.  He told her this morning that if she used the word "We" one more time, he'd wash her mouth out with soap.  It really hurt her feelings.  He has never talked to her like that.  They went for a walk outside, and she was holding his hand.  He told her that she didn't have to hold his hand; he could walk by himself.  She let go of his hand and told him that she knew she didn't HAVE to hold it; she just WANTED to.  He grabbed her hand and held it for the rest of the walk.

He has complained of a terrible headache for the past few days (except, apparently when Dr. Reddy asked him how bad it was, and then he told her it was only a low-grade one).  Mom told me that tonight he asked for some medicine to help with the pain, and some ice to put on his head.  He stacked towels over the top of his head, and Mom said he looked so much like a sultan that they got tickled.  He really got upset about this too, and told them, "You're not only laughing at me, you're making fun of me too."  I think that his personality is starting to change again.  He has been so tolerant and patient up to this point (the first personality change), but that is dissipating rapidly.  The pain in his head is a lot worse, and has been for several days.  His voice is a little stronger than yesterday.  They are going to be able to talk to Dr. Reddy tomorrow before his labs are run; hopefully she can help him with his pain.

Mom and Kay have not adapted well to testing Dad's glucose levels.  They have already used every strip in the sample box they received last night (10 strips).  I asked Mom if that meant they had pricked Dad's skin every time they used a strip, and  she said grudgingly said  yes.  Poor Dad has become a pin cushion.  All that sticking, and they have only taken three readings. I believe (translation:  pray) that they have finally figured out the proper method.  Mom has decided she will only prick his fingers.  You can also use specific parts of the palm of the hand, but it's just not working for them.

Tomorrow, they will take Dad to the lab and check all his blood levels.  They will have to wait at the hospital for the results.  If, for any reason, the numbers are off - NO CHEMO NEXT WEEK.  This would be disastrous.  Clay is driving them to Vanderbilt, and will help Mom navigate the hospital.  Kristie is driving down tomorrow and is spending the night, so Mom may drive home (without Dad) and pick up some warm clothes - if all goes well at the hospital.

Mom has a new cell phone number.  Her number is 270-316-1224.  We put her on our family plan so she can have unlimited minutes.  We are getting her a different phone.  I brought her one of our old ones to use until the other one is available.  I switched out her SIM card and called it to make sure it worked.  Mom is stuck with the ringtone that was already on the phone, and it is none other that Nickleback's "We All Just Want to be Big Rock Stars"!!!!!!!!  I am totally inept when it comes to programming phones, so she will just have to live with it for a few days.  Needless to say, when that phone rings in the hospital, she will have more than  a few people wonder why a 69 year old grandma wants to be a rock star!  Apparently I think this is funnier that Mom does!  At least she is finally hearing the phone ring!

Please keep Dad in your prayers.  We have seen a marked decline in his condition for the past few days.  Dad is in God's hands, and I am still hearing the verse BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD in my head.  I just keep repeating it, until once again I feel confident that God has been, is now, and always will be in control of my father.  I just need to learn to trust..........This is SO much easier said than done.  Dad told me yesterday that I don't need to WORRY about him; I just need to PRAY for him.  Well said, Dad.

Love,
Renee

Just a quick update before I go to work:  Mom says that Dad is better this morning.  He says he'd be better if someone would give him some breakfast.  It sounds like a very busy household at Kay's this morning, and Mom had to go.  I did hear Dad say in the background, that this "WE" is going back home to Kentucky.  He couldn't take it anymore.  He is very tired of Mom constantly saying, "WE need to eat our dinner.........WE need to take a shower...........we need to go to bed, etc.  I was awake most of the night worrying about Dad, so this is good news.  Thanks for all the prayers.

Have a good day.
Renee

Today has been a difficult day.  When I saw Dad last Thursday, he was stronger, his voice was not as weak and we were able to have some conversations that made some sense.  Today felt almost like we had stepped back a week in time.  Dad's voice is hollow again and all progress seems to have vanished.  His tolerance level regarding Mom having to hover over him constantly has greatly decreased.  She has been following him into the bathrooms at Vanderbilt because he is so unsteady on his feet.  It is not unusual for him to stay 10, 15 or more minutes in the bathroom, so Mom is naturally worried about him.  He got very angry at her today for following him inside the men's room, and told her that she was embarrassing him.  He said didn't need any help inside the bathroom.  The next time, Mom enlisted a gentleman to yell out, "Freeman, are you okay?" when he went inside.  This also agitated him, and he told Mom again that she was humiliating him.  She tried her hand at pushing him in the wheelchair (NOT a good idea), and Dad told her that he was going to have to announce to everyone that they were from Kentucky, and that's why they were knocking everything over with their wheelchair.  Mom was definitely on the top of Dad's "pet peeve" list.

The good news is (we always need to try and find SOME good news) that God laid out our day again.  The only appointment we had today was for Dad's shot - and that was at 10:30. When we arrived at Vandy, we checked to see if Dad's hematologist was available to talk about the dexamethasone and diabetes issues.  She wasn't working in the clinic, but they paged her and she came over to the hospital to talk to us anyway.  She told Dad to keep taking the dose of steroids they had discussed yesterday.  We also asked her why they didn't continue checking Dad's glucose at home when it had been four times a day at the hospital, especially considering he had been given insulin often to bring his glucose level down.  She made a phone call, came back, and told us that we had an appointment with the diabetic educator in 20 minutes.  She would teach Mom how to use a glucose monitor, and he would be checking at home from now on.  We met with the instructor, who then told us we would be seeing the endocrinologist, Dr. Jagasia, as soon as she was finished with our monitor lesson.  Dr. Jagasia decided Dad needs to be on insulin, but we are going to make a log for a few days of his glucose levels so they will know how much insulin to give him.  After she was finished, she told us that she was going to set us up with the dietician, so we have a better idea of what Dad needs to be eating.  Our appointment for the dietician would be in 20 minutes.  After meeting with her, Mom and I decided we would take a chance, go back to the hematology department, and see if Dr. Reddy's nurse might be available to discuss Dad's rapidly declining health.  His voice had changed quite a bit, and Dad was complaining of a terrible headache.  He has had a bad headache for 3 days (the same amount of time he's been without the steroid).  Dr. Reddy came back to talk to us herself, and after she assured us that we were not bothering her, she talked to Dad.  He told her that his headache was "low grade" now.  She said that possibly his voice change was due to the very long day he had, but if he was any worse in the morning, to call her.  She is truly a compassionate lady, and I am very thankful to have her.  We started for Kay's house.

On the way home, Dad started to drool again on one side of his mouth.  It only took us 30 minutes to get home, but Dad refused to get out of the car when we arrived at Kay's.  He said that he had a terrible headache, and that he was going to stay right where he was and rest.  No amount of cajoling  would change his mind.  Mom moved to the front seat and stayed with him while I went into the house.  She held his hand while he slept, and twenty minutes later we coaxed him out of the car.  He went straight to bed.  I left for home, and when I called to check on him later, he was trying to throw up.  He is not supposed to get nauseous with this chemo regimen, so I don't know if it was due to his shot today, the steroids he has restarted or heaven forbid, that he is getting sick.  Dr. Reddy doesn't feel like his backward slide is due to him having no steroids for the past few days.  The possibility of what she leaves unsaid scares me to death.  Mom mentioned to me on the way home that this could be the beginning............I told her not to even consider that possibility.  My drive home was so incredibly sad.  I hate leaving them so far away from their home, their church, their friends.......and me.

I am trying to spend as much time with Dad as I possibly can.  Kay said that we need to try and enjoy our time together, making as many good memories as we can.  I am kicking myself because I have spent more time with my Dad in the past three weeks than I have in the past 3 months, and he can't tell you if he's seen me in the last 10 minutes.  His memories are reserved for events long ago.  I tell him I love him, kiss his bald head constantly while pushing him in the wheelchair, and agonize when it's time to leave him again. He doesn't comprehend my angst.  Even the dietician told us today what a blessing it was for Dad's mind to be located somewhere in the past, where knowledge of his disease is nowhere to be found.  She was from New York, and when I met her, I judged her to be a typical Northerner.  My first impression of her was that she wasn't as personable as others we have met during this illness, but after she talked to us for a while, and learned how quickly and drastically Dad's illness had struck, she began to cry.  She insisted on personally pushing Dad and his wheelchair out herself through the long corridors, and I know we have found another person who will work hard to help Dad survive.  Our list of God's helpers is growing quickly.

Please keep praying.  We need a miracle.
Love,
Renee